Have you made yourself some coffee and then made another mug, because you forgot about the first one? Ever left an important bag of supplies behind when you head out to work? If you feel like you’re more forgetful as a new mom, you are not alone. Mom brain forgetfulness is real. There are studies being done to see if becoming a mom causes memory loss. But, most moms will tell you they’ve experienced increased forgetfulness.
I was a doubter…I truly thought “mom brain” and “pregnancy brain” were made-up jokes for comedians and TV shows to get laughs. Aww poor naive pre-mom me. I also swore I would NEVER buy boogie wipes because they sounded silly. Guess who has a regular stock of boogie wipes…this mom.
If you’re a doubter like I was it is easy to be hard on yourself. I thought: “I am a teacher, my brain is used to dealing with a million things at once, I’m better than this.” I’d stress out and berate myself for not doing better. I’m embarrassed to say that I told myself more than once, “How can you be so stupid!” It took too long but I started to give myself more grace and look for strategies to help my mom brain forgetfulness.
Sound familiar?
Stop the mom guilt and give yourself grace as you deal with mom brain forgetfulness
I started to experience forgetfulness during pregnancy. Once I had our daughter Anne I still had problems remembering things. I had to acknowledge that there was truth to what women said about having mom brain or being in a mom fog.
My hope is that I can help you find a few strategies that help you overcome your struggles with mom brain.
Humor & Grace
Humor and grace aren’t going to help improve your memory or decrease your forgetfulness. Yet, they can help transform this new reality into a more positive one. There are a few theories about why new parents in general experience forgetfulness.
Articles in Psychology Today and The New York Times both refer to a study that found new mom’s brains show change after giving birth. These changes last up to two years. The research suggests that these changes help mothers care for their new child.
The belief is that moms experience this change in our brains to help us have a more direct focus on our child. So, your forgetfulness is actually a positive change to help you bond and take care of your baby.
The forgetfulness could also be the hormone oxytocin. This hormone could be stopping us from making bad memories, so we’re more likely to have more children. (Psychology Today-The Science of “Mom Brain”)
You also have A LOT of new responsibilities on your plate plus this is all usually combined with lack of sleep. Sleep deprivation affects your cognition.
So what does all this mean? It means give yourself a break!
One of the worst incidents of mom brain I’ve experienced was when I forgot our entire bag of bathroom stuff for a trip across the state. We realized halfway to our destination and had to make a Wal-Mart run. (I should re-categorize this as”parent brain,” because my husband also forgot to pack the bag. :-))
The rest of the drive I stressed out and worried about the expense of buying all new bathroom stuff. Now we look back at it and laugh. We survived and the experience made the trip memorable. The brush I had to buy reminds me to not sweat the small stuff. It also reminds me to use a checklist. 🙂
Checklists
One of the first things you should put in place is writing down checklists. We all keep running checklists in our minds throughout the day. If you’re dealing with a foggy brain you either forget things on your mental checklist or waste time repeating it over and over in your head.
Once I started creating checklists for EVERYTHING I could feel some of my stress release. I didn’t have to spend precious brain power keeping track of everything. You can use checklists in a variety of ways. You could keep a planner, print out and post copies of checklists, or use sticky notes as reminders.
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To save paper and make your checklists reusable you can laminate them or slide them into a clear sheet protector. You may not even need to physically check off items on your checklist. Just having them visible can make all the difference.
Brain Dump
Does your brain often feel like it’s bouncing from one thing to another? It feels like you’re running in circles and never reaching any goals. You’re keeping track of so many things. All your baby’s needs, your significant other, your house, work, students, pets, and your needs. It’s like your brain is a computer with an overload of tabs open at the same time.
Your brain needs help processing everything. One way to accomplish this is to do a brain dump. It allows you to start minimizing some of those tabs, so you can focus in on the tasks and close them out.
To do a brain dump write down all the things you have swirling around in your head. Such as…tasks, worries, appointments, etc. Then prioritize the list.
Everyone has their own philosophy on what type of tasks to start with. You’ll need to find what works for you. You can start with tasks that will make the most impact on your day or the tasks with the highest need. You can help yourself feel a sense of accomplishment by checking off an easy task. You can as Mark Twain said, “eat the frog” by completing the most difficult task.
Your goal ISN’T to complete EVERYTHING on you brain dump list. The goal is to unload some of the “stuff” your brain is trying to keep track of. By writing it down you’re still keeping track of it. But you can focus more easily and be less forgetful.
Healthy Habits
As I did research for this post this is the area I know I need to work on. As moms, we can push our needs to the back while we focus on our baby’s. Healthy habits such as adequate sleep, exercise, and eating well are important to our overall health. Yet, they also impact our memory.
Sleep deprivation can have similar effects on our bodies as alcohol. According to the National Sleep Foundation, both being drowsy and being drunk can impair your ability to make fast decisions. Like most moms, you probably struggle to get an adequate night sleep. Night feedings, sleep regressions and trying to get IT all done chip away at your sleep.
Lack of sleep is a part of new parenthood, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to get enough sleep. My husband and I have worked on being better about getting to bed, so we can have at least 7 hours of sleep each night. It’s not perfect, but it’s amazing how much better you feel once this becomes consistent.
It can be hard to schedule in exercise when you have a young child. I still haven’t gotten it figured out. It’s important to keep our bodies active because physical exercise helps our brain. (Harvard Health Letter: Regular exercise changes the brain to improve memory, thinking skills).
Since I haven’t been getting in workouts I try to make sure I’m at least active. A few ways I do this is to keep my steps up on my Fitbit and I include dancing or other physical play in our day. How do you stay active?
Healthy eating habits can also improve on our mom brain forgetfulness. I may not know exactly what types of food will improve my memory, but I’m pretty sure ice cream, goldfish crackers, and peanut butter M&Ms aren’t on the list.
During stressful times it can be easy to rely on quick comfort foods. I’m still learning other ways to deal with stress, but I’ve at least started recognizing when I comfort eat. If this is an area you need to work on as well you can check out this post about small diet changes.
Mom brain forgetfulness is a natural part of motherhood.
There are even positive aspects such as helping you focus in on your baby and his or her needs. As well as helping you bond with your new baby. It could also be that it’s meant to help us not create bad memories about the harder aspects of motherhood.
Even if you have a forgetful moment you can make the most of it. You may learn a resourceful new trick (Ziplock bags and rubber bands work as bottle tops if you forget them at home…in case you’re wondering 😉 ). OR You may gain a funny story to share with your kiddo in the future.
When you start to get frustrated with your mom brain forgetfulness, take a deep breath and remember… YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Find the humor and give yourself grace. Look for systems that help and work on making sure you’re as healthy as you sweet babe. Related Posts:
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What strategy or strategies do you think will help you most? Don’t forget to download your free copy of the Stress Less Teacher Mom Checklists below and pin this article for future reference.
